Mom and Dad helped me so much through the first few days back at their home. I felt as if I were learning to function all over again. In the beginning I woke up, put my feet on the floor, brushed my hair and teeth and took care of the bare essentials for the day. By the end of the first week my children were enrolled in school and in somewhat of a routine. By the end of the second week I had located an attorney and filed legal separation orders. This provided legal boundaries to work within while going through counseling and pondering life-altering decisions.
By the end of the third week Dad gently suggested it would probably be good for my confidence to find employment. I knew he was right, but inside a sense of panic seized my heart. What if I could not find a job? What if I failed at the job? What if no one liked me? What did I know how to do? Could I learn something new? It is amazing to me how God can lead us step by step through the most difficult of circumstances, yet when it is time to take the next step we often return to fear.
Within two days of searching, God blessed me with a job as a receptionist at a local real estate attorney’s office. Co-workers welcomed me warmly and were patient as I learned. So by the end of the fourth week I was gainfully employed but painfully uncertain. I was uncertain of emotions, uncertain of future decisions, and uncertain of being alone.
One major component of this transition process was still unsettled, and that was continued professional counseling. I kept driving three hours round trip once a week to Houston for alternating sessions of marital and personal counseling. I was blessed to be placed in a rare form of group therapy at the time entitled Trauma Resolution Therapy. This form of therapy had become a tremendous means of healing for me. Right in the middle of my progress, a roadblock appeared. I arrived one evening to find that our professional leader would be moving out of state to follow her husband in a career move.