“I walked into the grocery store, three young children in tow. The smile on my lips in no way reflected the excruciating pain in my heart. Hopelessness had overtaken faith, and life had become more about survival than about truly living.” These words still sting. Although it has been over twenty years since I recorded this moment on paper, my heart still remembers the pain and isolation as if it were yesterday. The amazing thing, however, is that my mind now views it from a totally different perspective.
Did this transformation happen overnight? Heavens no! Is the transformation complete? Not exactly. Divorce and broken relationships are complicated. There were days, months, sometimes years of anger towards the person who was supposed to love and protect me as Christ loved and gave Himself for the church. There were days of confusion and hatred toward the circumstances that created the disorder that came to rule our lives. There was much hard work put into acknowledging the situation, accepting its reality, and owning my responses and mistakes in dealing with it. Then there was the process of learning to release responsibility and guilt for things that were not mine to bear.
My point is, as I have waited on God while working through this, He has been at work transforming my mind. Over twenty years ago in that grocery store, God was waiting on me while actively pursuing me in love. If you are in need of a new or renewed relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, He is actively waiting, pursuing you in love. If you have a relationship with the Father, but are waiting for answers, take heart. God is at work as we wait. He simply asks that we submit ourselves to Him, actively taking each step He guides us to make.
“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.” Psalms 40:1-3